People love to say, “Take it easy”… until the thing I take off my plate is theirs.
That’s when the smiles tighten. The tone shifts. And suddenly, my rest becomes an inconvenience.
I’ve spent most of my life in overdrive. Saying yes. Making space. Filling in gaps. Carrying more than I had room for. And when you’ve always been the one who shows up, people start thinking it’s your job to show up. Every time. No questions asked.
But then you start saying no.
You start pulling back.
You stop bending over backwards.
And now you’re the problem.
They told me to slow down. To do less. To take care of myself. But what they really meant was: do less… unless it affects me.
Don’t take a break from my needs.
Don’t skip my event.
Don’t decline my request.
“Take it easy” sounds like support until the ease disrupts someone else’s expectations.
I’ve learned that some people support your boundaries right up until those boundaries inconvenience them.
Sometimes the reaction is subtle. A different tone. A little distance. A withdrawal of warmth. Almost like you’re being reminded that saying no comes with consequences.
I used to feel terrible when that happened. Honestly, I still do sometimes.
I wanted people to understand my need for rest instead of misunderstanding my decision as not caring.
But I’ve also learned that helping everyone understand me can become one more job. One more emotional weight to carry.
And I’m too tired for that now.
Choosing What Matters to Me
I used to think taking it easy meant I was slacking. That if I wasn’t hustling, I was falling behind.
Now I realize: taking it easy means I decide.
I decide what gets my energy.
I decide what gets dropped.
I decide what happens now, what happens later, and what doesn’t happen at all.
I’ve also realized that I get to decide which things matter to me too.
Not every invitation, event, request, or expectation automatically becomes my responsibility simply because it’s important to someone else.
I can care about people and still choose fewer obligations.
Because fewer obligations don’t just mean fewer things on my calendar. They mean less planning, less coordinating, less gearing up for interactions, less spending, less mental noise.
They mean breathing room.
They mean freedom to do things my way instead of always living according to someone else’s expectations.
And yes, there are still things I’ll do because they matter to the people I love and because they matter to me too. That’s part of caring for each other.
But I no longer believe that everything is equally important just because someone else says it is.
My rest matters too.
My sanity matters too.
My health matters too.
Sometimes choosing myself means the laundry waits.
Sometimes the text message waits.
Sometimes the whole-house cleaning waits.
Because these days, if I have a little extra energy, I’d rather spend it on something that restores me than on something that simply needs doing.
Lately, that thing has been writing.
So no, I’m not doing nothing.
I’m just not doing everything.
I’m not here to perform exhaustion anymore.
I’m the one who decides what gets done.
It’s that simple.
🎧 Listen
_______
This Connects To…
→ My New Rules
→ Opting Out of Constant Accessibility
→ Running on Nothing