A few years ago, I realized I cannot handle when errands start multiplying while we’re already out on the road.
Especially with Momma.
And it’s not because I’m mean or need to control everything.
It’s because somewhere between:
“Oh, let’s stop here real quick”
and
“Wait, we should probably grab this too while we’re over here…”
…I start feeling my entire attitude shift.
The thing is, most of the time she’s thinking ahead for the household.
“Let’s grab your coconut water while we’re over here.”
“We should get some meat before the family comes.”
“Oh wait, we still need to return such and such.”
She’s thoughtful like that. Always thinking ahead. Always trying to make sure we have what we need before we need it.
So this isn’t about her doing something wrong.
It’s about what happens to me when the finish line keeps moving.
The Slow Expansion of a Simple Day
Before we even leave the house, I’ve already mapped the day out in my head.
Not in some cute productivity-girl way either.
More like:
- how long I realistically have the energy to be out
- which side of town makes the most sense first
- what closes early
- what should be the last stop because it needs refrigeration
- how much traffic I’m willing to mentally survive
- what still needs to get done once I get back home
So when extra stops start getting added in real time, my brain starts short-circuiting.
Not immediately.
At first, I’ll say yes.
Then we zigzag across town.
Then another stop gets added.
Then another.
And somehow the “quick run” slowly eats the entire afternoon while I can physically feel myself getting more irritated in the driver’s seat.
Sometimes overwhelm doesn’t show up as one giant dramatic event.
Sometimes it looks like the slow expansion of a plan your brain already settled into.
Managing the Mood While Managing the Route
I think what finally pushed me into creating a system was realizing that I kept ending these outings the same way.
Mentally fried.
Quiet.
Overstimulated.
Trying not to sound irritated.
Because Momma picks up on my emotional state FAST.
So even when I’m frustrated, I’m also trying not to act frustrated because now I’m managing the atmosphere in the car too.
Which means I’m:
- driving
- navigating
- recalculating time
- mentally adjusting the route
- trying not to get snappy
- trying not to feel guilty for being irritated in the first place
And somewhere in the middle of all that, I realized I wasn’t actually angry at errands.
I was angry at the constant expansion.
The moving finish line.
The feeling that the outing was no longer contained.
The feeling that I was no longer going from Point A to Point B but instead becoming endlessly available to the day.
That’s what was exhausting me.
Not the errands themselves.
The Rule That Saved My Sanity
So I made a rule.
Once the route is planned, we are not adding stops that take us backward or sideways across town.
Only forward. That’s it.
And I can’t believe how much that tiny rule saved my sanity.
Now before we leave the house, I literally sit down and map the route out on paper.
I write all the stops down.
Then I reorganize them.
Then I rewrite the route in order.
Sometimes multiple times.
Spanish market.
Alteration shop.
Post office.
HomeGoods.
Cold items last so we can come straight home.
It probably sounds ridiculous to some people, but rewriting the route helps me mentally rehearse the day before it happens.
The more I write it out, the more settled my brain feels before we even leave the driveway.
By the time we pull out, I already know how the outing is supposed to flow.
Turns out I do a whole lot better with that setup than crisscrossing all over creation.
Because I’m not really organizing errands.
I’m protecting my energy before it turns into resentment.
Now when we head back home, I don’t feel wrung out before I even pull into the driveway.
Tiny Rules of Engagement
And I gotta give Momma props…
She rarely pushes back when I say no to an extra stop.
Usually she just says okay.
Which means the real battle was never between me and her.
It was between me and overwhelm.
And I think a lot of women quietly build little systems like this without even realizing it.
Some of us genuinely do love structure and efficiency.
Some of us are naturally systems-minded.
Some of us just get tired of repeating the same frustrating pattern over and over again.
So we adapt.
We create tiny Rules of Engagement for ourselves.
Routes.
Loops.
Lists.
Mental rehearsals.
Small boundaries that keep us from emotionally deteriorating in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday.
I think that’s part of what running on empty looks like for a lot of us.
Not falling apart dramatically.
Just quietly building systems so we don’t.
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This Connects To…
→ Running On Nothing